Don't you get lonely out here?
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322 Posts
I have met many people that have a garden train and were the only ones in their town that had one. The lonelieness comes from not being able to share their enthusiasm with others. MLS fills that gap to a degree. My son is alone in the hobby where he lives. Because we enjoy the same hobby our connection as father and son has grown. We can use Skype to see each others outdoor trains and projects. I feel extremely fortunate to live in such a time where all these technologies can bring us together. It is the best of times. regards, Dennis.
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3,010 Posts
I was happier before the guy asked me if I was lonely.
Here I have a guy who I found cutting my wood without asking permission and who then more or less asked if I live alone.
I am happy to get the trees cut and removed plus the guy did give me the name and phone number of someone who cut down the trees that were endangering the caboose plus he is cutting and removing the other large trees that were blown down - but - it is hard to trust and feel comfortable with someone who started out by cutting and removing wood from private land without bothering to ask permission.
In this case I look forward to being "alone" when he is finished removing the wood because I will not feel comfortable bringing out and running expensive trains until he has finished and left.
First impressions do matter a lot. If the guy had simply taken a few minutes to ask if he could remove those trees I would be comfortable and he would be welcome.
Jerry
Here I have a guy who I found cutting my wood without asking permission and who then more or less asked if I live alone.
I am happy to get the trees cut and removed plus the guy did give me the name and phone number of someone who cut down the trees that were endangering the caboose plus he is cutting and removing the other large trees that were blown down - but - it is hard to trust and feel comfortable with someone who started out by cutting and removing wood from private land without bothering to ask permission.
In this case I look forward to being "alone" when he is finished removing the wood because I will not feel comfortable bringing out and running expensive trains until he has finished and left.
First impressions do matter a lot. If the guy had simply taken a few minutes to ask if he could remove those trees I would be comfortable and he would be welcome.
Jerry
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455 Posts
I would rather be tinkering with my trains and related projects, working on my 1:1 projects, railfanning when on the occassional road trip back home, attending the occassional regional mr flavoured functions, catching up on the latest G-gauge news via 4+ related forums, !
Rather than after working hours being a couch potato either by self/roommate/or significant other bugeyed on soaps/vid games/so-called reality shows, or pissing money down the urinal at the 'bar' at least two nights a week (till mid-90s did that), and then declaring a well-full-filled life ... Those are the situations peoples of the majority find themselves in especially after their retirement wiht no hobby tend to 'shrivel up' and .....
Whereas all of us who are labelled "lonely" when seen partaking of this hobby, BUT actually tend to be continually challenged in learning new' and making the time to fit it all in ..... helps to keep ya feeling young !
imho,
doug c
Rather than after working hours being a couch potato either by self/roommate/or significant other bugeyed on soaps/vid games/so-called reality shows, or pissing money down the urinal at the 'bar' at least two nights a week (till mid-90s did that), and then declaring a well-full-filled life ... Those are the situations peoples of the majority find themselves in especially after their retirement wiht no hobby tend to 'shrivel up' and .....
Whereas all of us who are labelled "lonely" when seen partaking of this hobby, BUT actually tend to be continually challenged in learning new' and making the time to fit it all in ..... helps to keep ya feeling young !
imho,
doug c
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5,334 Posts
I was worried about what I was going to do when I got laied off a year and a half ago. I canciled dish network. I installed a digital antena I don't watch that much TV. I don't miss satalite as much as I thought I would. I get DVD's of movies I like used on E bay . I get Books on CD Used from E bay. Once I got use to the idea " I really don't have to be anywhere today" Life is great. Money gets tight some times but That's ok too. So far since last friday I have driven my car 8 miles each day to go to my sisters for supper.
JJ
JJ
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2,899 Posts
If we could, my wife and I would love to live as far away from other humans as possible..
No other people for 50 miles in any direction would be paradise..
one major problem..we have to have jobs, and drive to them...
messes up the whole system..alas.
Scot
No other people for 50 miles in any direction would be paradise..
one major problem..we have to have jobs, and drive to them...
messes up the whole system..alas.
Scot
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5,334 Posts
Posted By Scottychaos on 28 May 2011 07:47 PM
If we could, my wife and I would love to live as far away from other humans as possible..
No other people for 50 miles in any direction would be paradise..
one major problem..we have to have jobs, and drive to them...
messes up the whole system..alas.
Scot
Scot I could not do the 50 mile thing either, as much as I'd like to . But I did do 2.5 acers. That atleast keeps the madding crowd at bay, some what
JJ
If we could, my wife and I would love to live as far away from other humans as possible..
No other people for 50 miles in any direction would be paradise..
one major problem..we have to have jobs, and drive to them...
messes up the whole system..alas.
Scot
Scot I could not do the 50 mile thing either, as much as I'd like to . But I did do 2.5 acers. That atleast keeps the madding crowd at bay, some what
JJ
I am not a fan of living within earshot of your neighbors. My preference is to be away from the maddening crowd as well.
Ideally, if I had my druthers, I would live far enough away that I could run around nekkid and not have to worry about my neighbors coming over to join me. As it is, the property is just big enough that I can sit on my patio and fire a round off the air-soft that lands just inside the property line. This way I don't have to worry about the neighborhood kids, boldly venturing into my empire.
Of course I am kidding. The neighbors are all afraid of me as it is, I don't need to threaten them with anything other than my good looks.
Fil
Ideally, if I had my druthers, I would live far enough away that I could run around nekkid and not have to worry about my neighbors coming over to join me. As it is, the property is just big enough that I can sit on my patio and fire a round off the air-soft that lands just inside the property line. This way I don't have to worry about the neighborhood kids, boldly venturing into my empire.
Of course I am kidding. The neighbors are all afraid of me as it is, I don't need to threaten them with anything other than my good looks.
Fil
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983 Posts
People with no hobbies are the lonley ones.
working on my layout and running trains is my time to relaxe. I deal with people everyday in my job some good some bad. For me its nice to be alone. I also like living in a rural area where I dont have to deal with neighbors and traffic.
working on my layout and running trains is my time to relaxe. I deal with people everyday in my job some good some bad. For me its nice to be alone. I also like living in a rural area where I dont have to deal with neighbors and traffic.
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3,010 Posts
We are all now 5 years older than when I started this poll. For most of us that is a long 5 years (for me from 67 to 72 years old).
I was surprised to find this old poll but it made me realize that I was working/building a layout then that I have not used in a year or two and that I have lost touch with many who had posted.
I am certainly not lonely but my train activity is probably down 80%.
Jerry
I was surprised to find this old poll but it made me realize that I was working/building a layout then that I have not used in a year or two and that I have lost touch with many who had posted.
I am certainly not lonely but my train activity is probably down 80%.
Jerry
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3,203 Posts
Lonely? Yes, I would say I am. I grew up in a fairly small town where the people new me and called me by name when I stopped to buy gas or to go shopping. But then I moved to Florida and left all my friends and acquaintances behind. So, a year ago we moved to a development out in the country. Lots are 1 acre and bigger. Two of the neighbors have stopped to talk, but most just wave as they go by. I have trains, a Corvette and a 32 Ford. My son has a 67 Dodge van. No one has shown any interest in talking to me about anything. Please don't talk to me about being involved in a club. I've been in clubs and even been the President of Florid's largest Corvette club at the time. While clubs are a great place to meet new people they are also a great place to get pulled under by all the drama. Through MLS and my trips to Marty's and to Az and California, I've got to meet friends and have enjoyed having Mike R and Jerry B visit me here in Florida. As for Facebook friends, they are pretty much superficial for the most part. They seldom if ever message me to say hello or hay, how you doing. But then again. I'm guilty as I don't asked them either. I really feel we have become a disconnected society. Humm, come to think about it, the mail lady and mailman call me by name on a daily basis more than anyone.
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297 Posts
One of the realities of getting older is that you want to be near your doctor(s) and hospitals. It's great to live in the "sticks" but medical help could be problematic. I am in the middle of suburbia and world class hospitals are nearby. Although I am relatively healthy I can't help but think about the future. Someone once said "worrying about the future is time wasted. Planning for the future is time well spent".
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3,010 Posts
We live in Rural Arkansas. Our nearest neighbors are 1/4 mile away. We get along well and look out for each other but visit little.
As the years have gone by our kids and grandkids have become more busy with their jobs, families etc. with less time to visit. Our son and his wife are buying a house so for now we see them more often.
Now we spend more time with doctors than visiting friends and medical issues prevent me from traveling to train shows etc. As I age I for one have far less energy for anything. Add to this a failing memory and I spend far less time with both the trains and with keeping up with friends around the world on the internet.
There never were many Large Scalers in Arkansas and there are fewer now.
I used to volunteer at the Senior's Center but for now most of my outside activity is at the American Legion.
I think we all need to find others with similar interests. G Gauge Model Railroading (for me) has become a shrinking activity. The loss of LGB, LGB of America and Aristo-Craft has really put a damper on my Large Scale activity.
On the other hand, as my train activities have slowed down a lot, my discretionary income has increased proportionally.
I think it is called growing old.
As the years have gone by our kids and grandkids have become more busy with their jobs, families etc. with less time to visit. Our son and his wife are buying a house so for now we see them more often.
Now we spend more time with doctors than visiting friends and medical issues prevent me from traveling to train shows etc. As I age I for one have far less energy for anything. Add to this a failing memory and I spend far less time with both the trains and with keeping up with friends around the world on the internet.
There never were many Large Scalers in Arkansas and there are fewer now.
I used to volunteer at the Senior's Center but for now most of my outside activity is at the American Legion.
I think we all need to find others with similar interests. G Gauge Model Railroading (for me) has become a shrinking activity. The loss of LGB, LGB of America and Aristo-Craft has really put a damper on my Large Scale activity.
On the other hand, as my train activities have slowed down a lot, my discretionary income has increased proportionally.
I think it is called growing old.
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6,042 Posts
Wow Wayne, I hope you are happy in all that planning.
I found out about 4 years ago that Rural Metro can handle a mile of dirt road and they got met to a Hospital 30 miles away just fine.
I beat the cancer and still live here, by choice.
I'm a mile off the pavement and across Tucson from my family and doctors.... I have room for trains and a great place to get away from It All.
I don't get lonely out here, but I do feel crowded by some I'd rather not when I venture to towns.
I know my rattlers intent, not always sure by some glances in town....
John
I found out about 4 years ago that Rural Metro can handle a mile of dirt road and they got met to a Hospital 30 miles away just fine.
I beat the cancer and still live here, by choice.
I'm a mile off the pavement and across Tucson from my family and doctors.... I have room for trains and a great place to get away from It All.
I don't get lonely out here, but I do feel crowded by some I'd rather not when I venture to towns.
I know my rattlers intent, not always sure by some glances in town....
John
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3,010 Posts
Hi Randy,
I think there is a lot of truth there.
On the other hand, when I worked, my sales territory included all or part of Arkansas, Louisiana, Tennessee, Mississippi and Kentucky and I was in daily contact with many people (most of whom I considered friends). I had to quit most organizations because I was usually out of state when they had meetings etc. The day I retired, there was no further reason to see/visit former customers as they still had a job to go to daily that of necessity did not include visiting retired sales reps. I have not been in touch with former fellow sales reps in 15 years because they too covered multiple states and we only saw each once or twice at national sales meetings.
Because I was gone from home so much, there was little opportunity to make local friends. My wife traveled Arkansas inspecting nursing homes so she too had little opportunity to make local friends.
As you said, we have become a disconnected society but I think that has more to do with people moving to where the jobs are, where the jobs demand we live, where personal economics, where we want to live, medical circumstances and what family obligations may dictate.
Heck, between 17 and 20 years old I had lived in Illinois, Texas, Colorado, England and Morocco. I guess we can get used to anything and anywhere.
So much time is spent on iPhones, iPads, PCs etc. that less and less is spent face to face.
It is possible too that your friends and former friends are moving or have medical issues. At least the cost of communications (phones, internet etc.) has become so cheap that it is relatively easy and inexpensive to keep in touch with anyone. With Skype and FaceTime we can even see them while we talk with them.
I hope things improve for you.
Jerry
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3,010 Posts
MLS used to have the ability to locate fellow MLSers on a map.
I don't think that feature is available any longer.
It would be nice if it was. I found some of my best friends right here on MLS many years ago.
Jerry
I don't think that feature is available any longer.
It would be nice if it was. I found some of my best friends right here on MLS many years ago.
Jerry
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757 Posts
We are all our own person.
I was an only child, living in an apt, not living near to friends.
I learned how to play alone. So, im kinda used to this.
Some of my friends grew up in big families , almost communes. Oh the horror of this! LOL. People and noise everywhere, shared space, beds, food, etc LOL.
As i age, i find that while once highly social and connected, i am more discriminating about my time and energy.
Its always a wake up feeling when someone makes a comment about your lifestyle, beliefs, demeanor, possessions, etc., but, only that. Its ok to give comments reflection, and, move on. Hedonistic or not, be happy, by your standards. And, in the long run, we are all alone in some regard.
I play music with others, climb alone or with 1 or 2 others, have dinner club with 8, and i am a lawyer, which of course involves lots of people, and often conflict.
I no longer do galas big parties and clubs. I do community service. My priorities and needs have changed.
I go to bluegrass jams w lots of people, and, sometimes love it, or not so much, depends on what i am getting , energy-wise. The point being......its all subjective, and ones choice.
I have several interests, and rr intensity waxes and wanes. Always there, but, not always top of the list.
I can be very social, but am mostly happy being solitary. Sometimes i like mental rest.
I realize, that modeling allows me great, no, TOTAL focus, and thus, relaxation and respite from other responsibilities, not unlike camping, running, or other internal endeavors. Like meditation.
Oddly, while i like rr types, i did not energize from a brief membership in the rail club. I am, neither rivet counter nor anything goes, so common ground and focus can be different. And, i think like groucho said in effect, "is this the club i want to be a part of, some of these folks are a bit too obsessed".
I have no issue playing trains, i dearly love it, and am often thankful that i can afford it and have so many toys that i enjoy. Its no different than playing music, alone, for joy. Its also good playing w others, when i want to.
Its ok to be ourselves. Might as well be happy.
Otoh, new folks can lead us to grow and see new horizons.
I was an only child, living in an apt, not living near to friends.
I learned how to play alone. So, im kinda used to this.
Some of my friends grew up in big families , almost communes. Oh the horror of this! LOL. People and noise everywhere, shared space, beds, food, etc LOL.
As i age, i find that while once highly social and connected, i am more discriminating about my time and energy.
Its always a wake up feeling when someone makes a comment about your lifestyle, beliefs, demeanor, possessions, etc., but, only that. Its ok to give comments reflection, and, move on. Hedonistic or not, be happy, by your standards. And, in the long run, we are all alone in some regard.
I play music with others, climb alone or with 1 or 2 others, have dinner club with 8, and i am a lawyer, which of course involves lots of people, and often conflict.
I no longer do galas big parties and clubs. I do community service. My priorities and needs have changed.
I go to bluegrass jams w lots of people, and, sometimes love it, or not so much, depends on what i am getting , energy-wise. The point being......its all subjective, and ones choice.
I have several interests, and rr intensity waxes and wanes. Always there, but, not always top of the list.
I can be very social, but am mostly happy being solitary. Sometimes i like mental rest.
I realize, that modeling allows me great, no, TOTAL focus, and thus, relaxation and respite from other responsibilities, not unlike camping, running, or other internal endeavors. Like meditation.
Oddly, while i like rr types, i did not energize from a brief membership in the rail club. I am, neither rivet counter nor anything goes, so common ground and focus can be different. And, i think like groucho said in effect, "is this the club i want to be a part of, some of these folks are a bit too obsessed".
I have no issue playing trains, i dearly love it, and am often thankful that i can afford it and have so many toys that i enjoy. Its no different than playing music, alone, for joy. Its also good playing w others, when i want to.
Its ok to be ourselves. Might as well be happy.
Otoh, new folks can lead us to grow and see new horizons.
Joined
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4,474 Posts
I'm fine out here 2 miles out of town. I like the peace and quiet. One train buddy in town and a former one 30 miles away. See each out here every other month or so, but most of the time it's just me. Wife is not big on watching the trains but that is fine. I sit out and as they go around I think and relax. Tried open houses and newspaper articles, but didn't amount to anything , now just glad to keep a low profile. Most club members are in eastern Nebraska and none venture out here, only know a few of them. Nice people, but too far for me to drive and probably the same for them. I still build stuff and read the forums but do run a train about every day. No shelf queens!
A MLS map of members would be cool Jerry. It would help the noobs tremendously. we can look at the map and say," hey, they are not far from me. I wonder if I could pick their brain about this and that." Lets face it, someone in Michigan is not going to build a layout the same way as someone in florida. the environment is different.
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