Mik
Indiana, Pa
Foreman
Posts:344
Send Message
 | | 08/18/2008 8:50 PM |
| At least my ex says so. Yesterday at the Pa Ren Faire my oldest daughter convinced her younger sister to go up to a fellow in plate armor and ask him "How long do you stay fresh in that can?". 
The fellow thought it amusing and explained to the girls how hot living and fighting in armor was, but my ex-wife was still embarrassed. 
Besides, it wasn't really MY fault, it was the Cowardly Lion, lol.  | |
Mik
Unsupervised children will be given espresso and a free puppy | |
|
markperr
1st Class Member
Brakeman
Posts:75
Send Message
| | 08/18/2008 9:04 PM |
| My wife gets on me all the time about things like that. Over the past several summers we've been having problems with algae blooms in our pool. Turns out the source was a bag of sand under the fiberglas steps going into the pool. Last year we put the sand into one of those five gallon outboard motor gas cans (the plastic ones), and plugged it closed. Well, the plug didn't hold but it solved the algae problems. Of course the wet can now weights about 150lbs.
So this spring, we're opening up the pool and the neighbor hood girls ask if they can soak their feet in the pool. Of course, my wife always obliges them and while they were sitting there on the deck with their feet in the pool, I'm dragging this beast over to the edge to put back under the stairs. The littlest one, a cutie about seven years old, asks me "What's in the can?"
"Little girl parts," I reply, "I use them to weigh down my ladder."
[sound of crickets chirping]
"No it's not," says one of the other little girls defiantly.
"Oh, really," I says, "when was the last time you saw your other friends?"
[more crickets chirping]
Finally my wife intervenes, and tells the kids it's just sand and commences to scold me in their presence. It's amazing she keeps me around. I guess she need someone to haul that heavy can of kid parts back and forth.
Mark
| | | |
|
markoles
1st Class Member
Lancaster, PA
Conductor
Posts:816
Send Message
| | 08/19/2008 6:29 AM |
| Isn't that part of the job of being a husband/dad? Saying silly things like those?
I was at a family holiday party (can't remember if it was Turkey Day or Easter). One of the kids, Clayton, (who about 4 years old at the time) kept asking question after question after question. At first, it was not too bad, but after about 3 hours, I was getting a little punchy. I turned to him and asked "Clayton. How long has your name been Clayton?". The wheels in his head ground to a halt. He was quiet for about 5 mintues, everyone was amazed. Then it started to snow lightly. I said, "Clayton, see the snow? Know where it comes from? See the birds eating seed? Look under them." I still don't think he likes snow!
Mark | |
Mark Oles
Millersvillanova Railroad, Lancaster, PA | |
|
wchasr
1st Class Member
Western NY
Foreman
Posts:384
Send Message
| | 08/19/2008 7:30 AM |
| LOL!
Love the comments! The only one I can think of currently is when my daughter interuptted my wife and I in a conversation for the umpteenth time. "I'm not dad anymore, I changed my name." I responded. My 5 year old (at the time) asked "So what is your name then?" I quickly blurted out something. "Otis" Shethen repsonds with "Ok then, Otis can I have some ice cream?"
What do you sat to that?
Hope the Renn fair was fun!
Chas | | | |
|
Torby
1st Class Member
North Chicago 'burbs.
Engineer
Posts:1669
Send Message
| | 08/19/2008 7:44 AM |
| Oh that's great!
We were in a mall once when Caleb, about age 5, walked up to a display of Telletubbies stuffed toys and said, in Worf's accent, "Death to Telletubbies!" | |
 "If Christianity was something we were making up, of course we could make it easier. But it is not. We cannot compete, in simplicity with people who are inventing religions. How could we? We are dealing with Fact. Of course anyone can be simple if he has no facts to bother about."-- C. S. Lewis | |
|
Mik
Indiana, Pa
Foreman
Posts:344
Send Message
| | 08/19/2008 9:21 AM |
| Hope the Renn fair was fun!
I guess, but it would have been MORE fun without the $4 drinks and $6 sandwiches, and all the other ways to separate you from your money at 3 times the rate of stuff outside the fence. (Those merry thieves don't even bother with masks, either!). The only bargain ALL day was the Red Cross blood drive -- give blood=free admission. | |
Mik
Unsupervised children will be given espresso and a free puppy | |
|
vsmith
1st Class Member
SoCal
Posts:999
Send Message
| |
wchasr
1st Class Member
Western NY
Foreman
Posts:384
Send Message
| | 08/19/2008 1:15 PM |
| LOL! Let's see, the most expensive meal at Pennsic was probably the $7 breakfast at the Beast & Boar. For your money you get a three egg omlet, Sausage, hash browns, toast, coffee and a juice cup. They also sell limited edition mugs that are good for free refills for two weeks. The shopping is also not at outrageous prices either. Of course the Renn faire circuit is a "privateers" wet dream. LOL!
Still they can be lots of fun!
| | | |
|
Les
1st Class Member
Florissant, Missouri
Foreman
Posts:237
Send Message
| | 08/19/2008 2:21 PM |
| When my son was five, Grammaw, Grandpaw, their two friends, my wife and I were on our pontoon boat, feeling our way up a slough off the Mississippi. I was conning. All at once the right pontoon began to slowly rise out of the water. A snag. I tried to back off but she was stuck. I noticed everyone was staring at me. I sighed, emptied my pockets and swung along the pontoon to where I suspected the snag was. Yep, a neat fork with just enough curl to capture the pontoon. I went into the water, feeling about until my boots were on the rest of the limb. A more slimy thing I've never trod. But fortunately, at exactly the right place, my boot fetched against a stob. I directed everyone to the rear diagonal to take the weight off. While I was successfully lifting/inching the boat free, my daughter, who is 9 years older, remarked to my then-5 yr old son, "I hope the alligators have all gone south by now." He still remembers that, more than 20 years later.
Les W. | | | |
|
John J
Moderator
Conductor
Posts:768
Send Message
| | 08/20/2008 5:10 PM |
| What drives me nuts is SAFEWAY. After you enter your secret code and the reciept prints out the cashier says "WELL MRS SMITH YOU SAVED 7 DOLLARS TODAY" "WELL MR JONES YOU SAVED 15 DOLLARS TODAY
Then they get to me.
" Well Mr ....Ummmmmm.......Errrrrrrr ummmmmmmmm How do you pronouce your last hame?"
To which I answer "Quite welll thank you....I have been doing it for 60 years"
My sister takes her car to be fixed. Every time two days later the Sales department call my house. ( She lived with me till she got her own place.)
"IS MRS JALOMSKI THERE?"
Tow which I say
" Son, Take a phonixe lesson and when you can pronounce her last name correctly I will let you talk to my sister" | |
 | |
|
Semper Vaporo
1st Class Member
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Engineer
Posts:1239
Send Message
| | 08/20/2008 5:42 PM |
| Posted By John J on 08/20/2008 5:10 PM
What drives me nuts is SAFEWAY. After you enter your secret code and the reciept prints out the cashier says "WELL MRS SMITH YOU SAVED 7 DOLLARS TODAY" "WELL MR JONES YOU SAVED 15 DOLLARS TODAY
Then they get to me.
" Well Mr ....Ummmmmm.......Errrrrrrr ummmmmmmmm How do you pronouce your last hame?"
To which I answer "Quite welll thank you....I have been doing it for 60 years"
My sister takes her car to be fixed. Every time two days later the Sales department call my house. ( She lived with me till she got her own place.)
"IS MRS JALOMSKI THERE?"
Tow which I say
" Son, Take a phonixe lesson and when you can pronounce her last name correctly I will let you talk to my sister"
The cashier should just respond: "Well, Mr. QuiteWell, you saved 50 cents today." | |
 C. T. McCullough
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
SA #37469
| |
|
markoles
1st Class Member
Lancaster, PA
Conductor
Posts:816
Send Message
| | 08/21/2008 9:08 AM |
| JJ,
That's pretty good, but I am sure you could do better. Why not just answer "Smith". That'd throw them off.
At 6'4", I often get two questions:
1. How tall are you?
2. Do you play basketball?
My standard, off the cuff answers are:
1. 5'-8"
2. No, but I am a jockey.
Some folks are quicker than others.
| |
Mark Oles
Millersvillanova Railroad, Lancaster, PA | |
|
timhum
1st Class Member
Sudbury, Suffolk, UK
Brakeman
Posts:13
Send Message
| | 08/22/2008 4:38 AM |
| Picture this, a lady sitting on a train with her young daughter approximately 4 years old. Every few seconds the child is calling out 'mum this' or 'mum that' and poor mum is getting more and more exasperated. Eventually I hear mum say quietly under her breath, 'and to think how pleased I was to hear that word the first time she said it'.
Tim | | | |
|
sschaer
Brakeman
Posts:36
Send Message
| | 08/23/2008 5:37 AM |
| a few weeks ago we sat in a restaurant, my better half, her sister and their little boy (3 years). after a while he pointed to an old man and said "hey look mom, a man in a tractor"....
it was someone in a wheechair. | | | |
|
Semper Vaporo
1st Class Member
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Engineer
Posts:1239
Send Message
| | 08/23/2008 11:58 AM |
| | Friend of mine was at a restaurant with his mother, sister and niece. His mother ordered the 'Special Dinner' and the niece yelled out, "No, no, grandma, thats CAT FOOD!" | |
C. T. McCullough
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
SA #37469
| |
|
Torby
1st Class Member
North Chicago 'burbs.
Engineer
Posts:1669
Send Message
| | 08/24/2008 11:27 AM |
| We were looking at a truck once. The dealer and odometer both said 36,000. I said to Susan, "this has a lot more than 36!"
Ethan said to the dealer, "Daddy says this has a lot more than..." | |
"If Christianity was something we were making up, of course we could make it easier. But it is not. We cannot compete, in simplicity with people who are inventing religions. How could we? We are dealing with Fact. Of course anyone can be simple if he has no facts to bother about."-- C. S. Lewis | |
|